Are you struggling with a past or current relationship? Do you feel like you’re always in trouble with your partner, that you can never do anything right? Are you in an unhealthy relationship dynamic where you never get credit for your contributions? Are you reeling after a divorce or breakup? Are you having trouble moving from casual dating to a meaningful relationship?
If you are in a relationship that you want to make work or want to understand how to build better relationships in the future, therapy can give you the tools that you need. In a healthy relationship, you can get your needs met while supporting the needs of your partner. You can build the internal resources and skills for relationships based on mutual trust, respect, admiration, and fondness.
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Understanding your own relationship pattern
Do you feel like you keep on making the same mistakes in relationships over and over again? Many of us choose to date the wrong person over and over or act in ways that are destructive to relationships with romantic partners, parents, friends, or work colleagues.
A relationship pattern is like a mold for behavior that we use repeatedly when we:
- Pick who to get into a relationship with.
- How we behave in the relationship.
- What sort of treatment we are willing to accept from our relationship partners.
Relationship patterns can be positive or negative. Once you identify your relationship patterns, you can work to modify or leverage the patterns in order to develop healthy relationships.
Therapy can help you learn from the past and move forward in the future
Therapy can help you, after a divorce or a breakup, to better understand what went wrong. You can apply lessons learned from your previous relationships to make sure that your next relationship is more successful.
In therapy, you can develop the skills to:
- Develop self-compassion and grounded self-confidence
- Attract people who will add value to your life
- Make better choices when choosing a relationship
- Recognize when you need to work on a relationship and when you need to end a relationship
- Build intimacy and connection with your partner
Five questions to ask yourself about your relationships and relationship choices
- Do you feel your partners don’t “get you”?
- Do you choose partners who cannot or will not meet
- your emotional needs?
- Are you attracted to the same characteristics that caused you unhappiness in previous relationships?
- Do the people who care about you, friends and family, say that you consistently look for the wrong traits in potential partners?
- In the early stages of a relationship, do you make excuses for your partner’s bad behavior or gloss over warning signs?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, therapy with Dr. Graff can help you understand and shift your relationship patterns. In therapy, we will work towards developing the skills that you need to build relationships built on respect, appreciation, kindness, and admiration.